What’s the funniest episode of The Office? Every episode, ranked

She moved away, I was on season three / It hit my heart so hard I'd hardly speak

But I could find some peace and privacy / A paper company to sit with me

“Netflix Trip” - AJR

Okay, it’s happening. Everybody stay calm. Everybody stay calm. STAY ####### CALM! The Office is leaving Netflix at the end of 2020. Other than track down every season on DVD, the only thing to do is watch all the episodes we can. But unless you’re prepared to dedicate every minute of a three-day weekend to watching all nine seasons (wait - actually that sounds fantastic), you might not be able to get through the whole series, so you’ll want to prioritize which episodes to watch.

That’s where I can help.

My undying love for The Office didn’t need any rekindling, but I’ve been inspired recently by the incredible Office Ladies podcast by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey, AJR’s bop of a song about the band’s connections to the show, multiple Office-themed trivia events, and the sad news that the show soon won’t be as readily available to most people.

All that is why over the last several months, I’ve watched every episode of The Office while taking meticulous notes to find the funniest of them all.

I’ve included more details about my process here, but basically I noted each time I thought something in an episode was funny and how funny it was. I also documented what I deemed a “feeling score” for each episode to track the indefinable qualities that make an episode funny. Throw in each individual episode’s IMDB score and we’re working with a pretty solid set of scientific data that gives us a definitive list of the funniest episodes of The Office.

I turned down Jameson when I was twelve / I spent that Friday night with Steve Carrell

The one where Dwight became the head of sales / My eighth grade graduation wished me well

Obviously humor is subjective. Different people will find different jokes to be funnier than others and that’s not something to be truffled with. Disagreement here is encouraged. I even disagreed with myself at times because there are just so many hilarious episodes that it’s hard to choose.

It’s also important to note a couple things. Yes, this is a ranking from 1 - 193, and sometimes I felt that I was being mean to some episodes that didn’t rank as highly as I thought they would. But sometimes, the ends justify the mean. And also, just because an episode isn’t even in the top 100 doesn’t mean it’s not a good episode. This isn’t a left-siders versus right-siders situation. Remember, this is an adventure to find the funniest episode. So don’t be surprised when episodes like the season three finale “The Job” (where Jim asks out Pam for the first time) don’t rank as highly. “The Job” is a great episode. It’s also one that focused more on story and character development than humor. 

Another important thing to keep in mind is that one memorable moment doesn’t make the entire episode worthy of a top ranking. Some episodes surprised me because I remember them for one specific hilarious line or scene, but when you watch the whole episode, they aren’t as funny as others that delightfully surprised me with solid humor throughout. One notable example of this is season two’s “Dwight’s Speech”, which has one of the best scenes of the entire series despite its lower ranking on this list.

I lost my grandpa during season six / I watched my mom, she cried and held her kids

My mind was broken up; I couldn't think / So I just hugged her the way Michael did

No matter the ranking on this list, all episodes of The Office truly hold a special place in my heart. Because at some point, each one has made me laugh when I didn’t feel like it or served as a pleasant distraction after a bad day. To quote a touching finale monologue from another incredible NBC sitcom: “It's TV; it's comfort. It's a friend you've known so well, and for so long, you just let it be with you.”

The Office did that as well as any show ever has. And comfort is what The Office was, is, and will continue to be for me and countless others. Because it did such an amazing job of bringing people into the stories and relationships that developed in a way you couldn't help but connect to. And that, my fellow Dunder Mifflinites, goes beyond just the humorous aspect of the show I’ve attempted to measure.

If by some chance, anyone who had anything to do with making The Office ever sees this - I just want to say thanks for the memories and all the laughs. You've made so many people smile so many times, and for that, this world owes you a great debt. Thanks to my wife Joy for being my wife and putting up with me diving into this project like a master's thesis. Thanks to Elisabeth for being the brains behind the operation and for being my favorite person to talk sitcoms with. Thanks to Stephen and Dave for helping make some of the decisions about the funniest lines. Thanks to Jack and Jordy for inspiring me to love The Office even more. Thanks to Melissa for always laughing along. Thanks to my Zoom group for encouraging me to finish strong. And thanks to God for creating laughter in the first place. Because I feel God in this Chili's tonight.

Now the finale's done and I'm alone / I'm on a Netflix Trip here on my phone

But who I am is in these episodes / So don't you tell me that it's just a show

Now it’s time for the good stuff. This project was as fun as office olympics, but there was also a decent amount of work to it. If you’re interested in that work, you can check it out here:

-The Process

-The 100 funniest lines

Otherwise, since one of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake... without further ado, let's start clapping. Presenting: Every episode of The Office, ranked by funny-ness...

The List:

Note: The Office has several two-part episodes. Some were aired together; some weren't. For the purposes of this list, I have divided the episodes as Netflix does.

Click here for a description of "episode score"

#193:

S2e18 - Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Episode score: 38.6
Funniest line:
Michael: I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it. And I am going to do it. I need a username, and I have a great one: "Little Kid Lover" - That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

#192:

S2e17 - Dwight's Speech
Episode score: 39.4
Funniest line:
Dwight: Blood alone moves the wheels of history!

#191:

S1e1 - Pilot
Episode score: 42.2
Funniest line:

Michael: As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.

#190:

S2e8 - Performance Review
Episode score: 42.4
Funniest line:

Michael: Pam, you're trustworthy.
Pam: Thank you.
Michael: And a woman.
Pam: Oh no.

#189:

S1e6 - Hot Girl
Episode score: 43.1
Funniest line:

Michael: What we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else.
Dwight: Sex.

#188:

S2e9 - Email Surveillance
Episode score: 44.9
Funniest line:

Dwight: As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections. There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from that old bread factory.

#187:

S1e5 - Basketball
Episode score: 44.9
Funniest line:

Pam: Please don't throw garbage at me

#186:

S2e15 - Boys and Girls
Episode score: 45.4
Funniest line:

Dwight: Yeah, and then they make you drive them to church the next morning. Like, gas ain't free.

#185:

S1e2 - Diversity Day
Episode score: 45.8
Funniest line:

Michael: Now she knows what it's like to be a minority.

#184:

S3e3 - The Coup
Episode score: 47.0
Funniest line:

Dwight: Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also weak arms.

#183: 

S2e19 - Michael's Birthday
Episode score: 47.4
Funniest line:

Dwight: Where have you been? And don't say the bathroom, because I kicked in all the stalls.

#182: 

S2e22 - Casino Night
Episode score: 48.0
Funniest line:

Michael: Two queens on casino night. I am going to drop a deuce on everybody.

NOTE: I feel like I'm going to get some questions on this episode ranking so low. Multiple factors negatively affected Casino Night's overall score. First of all, this episode is six minutes longer than average and longer episodes have to include more punch lines to account for their length. Casino Night is a fantastic episode, but it also spends a significant amount of time on Jim/Pam's relationship, Jan/Jim discussing his job, and of course, the big moment at the end. So many episodes of The Office are so funny that a full three-minute span with no attempts at humor tanks Casino Night's ranking on this list, which focuses on how funny each episode is.

#181: 

S6e19 - St. Patrick's Day
Episode score: 48.2
Funniest line:

Michael: It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.

#180: 

S3e6 - Diwali
Episode score: 48.9
Funniest line:

Michael: These are not my shoes.

#179: 

S8e8 - Gettysburg
Episode score: 49.3
Funniest line:

Jim: Andy, if you don’t believe me, take a look at what’s on my head. I’m wearing a very pink hat. I’ve been getting weird looks all day because I’m pretty sure “DM does GB” means something kinda sexual.

#178: 

S2e16 - Valentine's Day
Episode score: 49.7
Funniest line:

Michael: Okay, there's a guy pooping in a cardboard box down there.

#177: 

S6e14 - The Banker
Episode score: 49.8
Funniest line:

Michael: Computron.
Computron: Yes?
Michael: What is the world's largest ocean?
Computron: Calculating...calculating. Pacific!

#176: 

S2e14 - The Carpet
Episode score: 50.2
Funniest line:

Michael: This was no act of god. A person did this.

#175: 

S2e4 - The Fire
Episode score: 51.3
Funniest line:

Dwight: Hey, Michael, Ryan needs a number for the count off.
Michael: Okay, well, "one" is taken.
Ryan: Okay, "two"?
Dwight: No! 

#174: 

S2e21 - Conflict Resolution
Episode score: 52.0
Funniest line:

Dwight: Oh, what is on your face? Is that a disguise?

#173: 

S8e22 - Fundraiser
Episode score: 52.3
Funniest line:
Andy: I'm so ready to love all of these animals. This one's even bonding with me already.
Vet: Uh, no. Kenny's a therapy dog. He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis.
Andy: Stupid dog.

#172: 

S3e5 - Initiation
Episode score: 52.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.
Ryan: Is that your cousin Mose?
Dwight: Yes.

#171: 

S3e7 - Branch Closing
Episode score: 52.8
Funniest line:
Dwight: When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of sixth sense. You can read their moods like a book. And right now, the title of Michael's book is "Something Weird is Going On". Colon: What Did Jan Say? The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott. With Dwight Schrute.

#170: 

S2e2 - Sexual Harassment
Episode score: 53.0
Funniest line:
Michael: I am upper management, and it would be inappropriate for me to take a bath with Pam. As much as I might want to.
Pam: He said what?

#169: 

S2e1 - The Dundies
Episode score: 53.4
Funniest line:
Pam: So, finally, I want to thank God, because God gave me this Dundie and I feel God in this Chili's tonight.

#168: 

S9e15 - Couples Discount
Episode score: 53.4
Funniest line:
Erin: I still like you, but you were gone a really long time. And, you didn't really email me all that much. You retweeted me, a lot to be fair. But I don't love you.

#167: 

S2e3 - Office Olympics
Episode score: 53.8
Funniest line:
Carol: It's very safe. It's very clean. Also, it's very accepting of all lifestyles... It's a very gay-friendly neighborhood.
Michael: Oh, good, that's good. It's good to be accommodating of that.
Dwight: Let's go check out the master bedroom.

#166: 

S9e21 - Livin' the Dream
Episode score: 53.9
Funniest line:
Stanley: Andy’s from the generation that thinks they should all be famous. What happened to the generation that knew you shut up, did your work, and died quietly from a heart attack?

#165: 

S3e4 - Grief Counseling
Episode score: 54.0
Funniest line:
Michael: Well, you know what? I didn't want to hear about it either, Stanley, but I did and now I can't stop picturing it. He leaves work; he's on his way home. WHAM! His cappa is de-tated from his head.

#164: 

S3e17 - Cocktails
Episode score: 54.6
Funniest line:
Karen: Rachel, your house is beautiful.
Rachel: Thank you.
Dwight: What's the square footage?
David: About 5,000.
Dwight: Does that include the garage?
Michael: Dwight...
Jim: Wow.
Michael: That's not appropriate.
David: I don't know.
Dwight: It's a common question.
Michael: David, how much did this house cost?

#163: 

S4e5 - Local Ad
Episode score: 55.0
Funniest line:
Ryan: It's not part of your job. It's like, maybe you can cook, but that doesn't mean you should start a restaurant.
Michael: Well, actually I can't cook, and I am starting a restaurant.

#162: 

S9e11 - Suit Warehouse
Episode score: 55.3
Funniest line:
Sam Stone Sr.: Here he is, my son.
Dwight: Got cat turd collector written all over him.

#161: 

S3e23 - The Job
Episode score: 55.3
Funniest line:
Jim: Just so I understand it, in your wildest fantasy, you are in Hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the Devil.
Dwight: Yeah, but I haven't told you my salary yet.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: $80,000 a year.

#160: 

S9e12 - Customer Loyalty
Episode score: 55.9
Funniest line:
Erin: Oh, I'm sorry. Didn't you cheat on Andy?
Angela: Yes, and he didn't like it.

#159: 

S2e5 - Halloween
Episode score: 55.9
Funniest line:
Michael: What? There is someone left off that list? Who?
Dwight: Who is he saying?
Michael: You're right. I didn't even think of him.
Dwight: No, Michael.
Michael: Yeah, that's actually a really good idea.
Dwight: No. No. Not me.
Michael: Yeah, I could.
Dwight: Not Dwight.
Michael: I'm not saying that's what he said.
Dwight: I know that's what he said.
Michael: What?
Dwight: Tell him not Dwight.
Michael: That is not a very nice thing to say about him.
Dwight: Tell him to stop.
Michael: Are you kidding?
Dwight: Quiet, you!

#158: 

S3e18 - The Negotiation
Episode score: 56.1
Funniest line:
Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that... wow. Genius.

#157: 

S9e6 - The Boat
Episode score: 56.2
Funniest line:
Dwight: David, listen to me carefully. I'm gonna need you to let the mailman go, okay?
David: Dwight?
Dwight: Walk out of the house with your hands on top of your head; everything is going to be fine. Dunder Mifflin will be in good hands while you're away in prison.

#156: 

S4e4 - Money
Episode score: 56.4
Funniest line:
Michael: I declare bankruptcyyyy!

#155: 

S3e10 - A Benihana Christmas
Episode score: 56.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: Ok. Cindy. Yo! Cindy, Cindy! Hold its neck back, insert the knife beneath the jaw, bring it all the way around. There's gonna be a good amount of blood. But don't let that bother you. Have a bucket there. For the blood, and the innards and the feathers.

#154: 

S2e10 - Christmas Party
Episode score: 56.6
Funniest line:
Michael: Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.

#153: 

S8e23 - Turf War
Episode score: 56.6
Funniest line:
Harry: Who the hell are Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute?
Erin: Jim, Dwight, what are your last names?

#152: 

S8e21 - Angry Andy
Episode score: 56.6
Funniest line:
Erin: I don't know what the technical term is... penial... softiosis?

#151: 

S4e6 - Branch Wars
Episode score: 56.6
Funniest line:
Ben: Didn't everyone from Stanford quit, like immediately?
Michael: No, I fired them, and you're next...so what do you say?

#150: 

S2e6 - The Fight
Episode score: 56.7
Funniest line:
Dwight: Yes, I just had a question Yes, Sensei. (speaking japanese).
Jim: Was that your mom?

#149: 

S9e3 - Andy's Ancestry
Episode score: 56.7
Funniest line:
Darryl: Whoa, that person has really gotten him or herself into a predicament.

#148: 

S9e2 - Roy's Wedding
Episode score: 56.7
Funniest line:
Erin: For Channel 11 News..........................................I'm Erin Hannan

#147: 

S9e10 - Lice
Episode score: 57.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

#146: 

S4e1 - Fun Run
Episode score: 57.3
Funniest line:
Dwight: She's in a better place.
Angela: All right.
Dwight: Actually, the place that she's in is the freezer... because of the odor.

#145: 

S3e15 - Phylis's Wedding
Episode score: 57.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Because that's the thing about bear attacks, they come when you least expect it.

#144: 

S7e12 - Classy Christmas: Part 2
Episode score: 57.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

#143: 

S4e8 - The Deposition
Episode score: 57.7
Funniest line:
Lester: Did Ms. Levinson ever say why she thought she was being fired?
Michael: She thought it had to do with the twins.That's what I call them.
Lester: Can you be more specific? Who are the twins?
Michael: To be delicate, they hang off milady's chest. They make milk.

#142: 

S7e20 - Training Day
Episode score: 57.7
Funniest line:
Erin: "Dunder Mifflin, this is..." Oh, yeah I like it.

#141: 

S9e16 - Moving On
Episode score: 58.1
Funniest line:
Kevin: Didn't you two used to do it?
Gabe: We absolutely did. Thank you for remembering that.

#140: 

S5e22 - Dream Team
Episode score: 58.2
Funniest line:
Ryan: You guys want to hear about Thailand.
Michael: Yeah.
Pam: Sure.
Ryan: It was indescribable.

#139: 

S5e15 - Stress Relief: Part 2
Episode score: 58.2
Funniest line:
Pam: Once every hour, Someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott.

#138: 

S9e18 - Promos
Episode score: 58.4
Funniest line:
Erin: Hey Dwight, you have some guests. I think they're from the forest where we harvest our paper.

#137: 

S2e7 - The Client
Episode score: 58.6
Funniest line:
Michael: That's why I wanted a signal between us, so I wouldn't have to just shout nonsense words. That's her fault.

#136: 

S9e7 - The Whale
Episode score: 58.8
Funniest line:
Toby: Smile if you love men's prostates

#135: 

S4e1 - Fun Run Part II
Episode score: 58.9
Funniest line:
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?

Michael: It was on company property, with company property. So double jeopardy; we're fine.

Ryan: I don't think - I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.

Michael: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?

#134: 

S2e20 - Drug Testing
Episode score: 59.0
Funniest line:
Michael: I'm just saying that you can't be sure that it wasn't you.
Dwight: That's ridiculous; of course it wasn't me.
Jim: Marijuana is a memory loss drug, so maybe you just don't remember.
Dwight: I would remember.
Jim: Well, how could you if it just erased your memory?
Dwight: That's not how it works.
Jim: Now, how do you know how it works?
Dwight: Knock it off, okay? I'm interviewing you.
Jim: No! You said I'd be conducting the interview when I walked in here. Now, exactly how much pot did you smoke?

#133: 

S3e2 - The Conference
Episode score: 59.0
Funniest line:
Michael: What are all those stains?
Dwight: Blood, urine, or semen.
Michael: Oh, God, I hope it's urine.

#132: 

S3e9 - The Convict
Episode score: 59.0
Funniest line:
Andy: I'm so horny.
Jim: I can't help you with that.

#131: 

S9e4 - Work Bus
Episode score: 59.1
Funniest line:
Andy: How are you not murdered every hour?

#130: 

S3e16 - Business School
Episode score: 59.2
Funniest line:
Dwight: I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.

#129: 

S5e18 - Blood Drive
Episode score: 59.3
Funniest line:
Kevin: I said "oh my god, I think the Eagles could clinch the NFC East." And she said that we're done.

#128: 

S9e20 - Paper Airplane
Episode score: 59.7
Funniest line:
Kevin: I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep making planes until one of them flies. Like Wilbur and Orville Redenbacher.

#127: 

S3e8 - The Merger
Episode score: 59.8
Funniest line:
Dwight: The Japanese camp guards of World War II always chose one man to kill whenever a batch of new prisoners arrived. I always wondered how they chose the man who was to die. I think I would have been good at choosing the person.

#126: 

S8e11 - Trivia
Episode score: 60.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: You're a perfectly fine toilet... I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.

#125: 

S2e11 - Booze Cruise
Episode score: 60.1
Funniest line:
Dwight: Do you want us to run aground woman?

#124: 

S8e12 - Pool PartyEpisode score: 60.3
Funniest line:
Erin: I guess Andy isn't totally over his current girlfriend. But, if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again. Just not with Robert. He told me he was a ride I wouldn't survive, and I believed him.

#123: 

S4e7 - Survivor Man
Episode score: 60.3
Funniest line:
Dwight: Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. The safety is... on.

#122: 

S5e19 - Golden Ticket
Episode score: 60.4
Funniest line:
Michael: Well David, I will be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame.

#121: 

S5e13 - Prince Family Paper
Episode score: 60.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: And it was a terrible war. So many died. Far too many died. But if Frodo hadn't destroyed the ring, then goodness itself might have died.

#120: 

S8e13 - Jury Duty
Episode score: 60.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: That baby is a Schrute, and unless somebody taught Mose sex, that baby is mine.

#119: 

S8e24 - Free Family Portrait Studio
Episode score: 60.8
Funniest line:
Darryl: What flavor was that?
Hide: Coconut penis.
Darryl: The coconut's pretty subtle.

#118: 

S9e1 - New Guys
Episode score: 61.0
Funniest line:
Kevin: Angela’s cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can’t eat cats. You can’t eat cats, Kevin.

#117: 

S7e3 - Andy's Play
Episode score: 61.5
Funniest line:
Darryl: Shh! If we don't listen to the overture, we won't recognize the musical themes when they come back later.

#116: 

S3e11 - Back from Vacation
Episode score: 61.7
Funniest line:
Andy: I am now chopping off Phyliss' head with a chain saw......rng rng rng

#115: 

S8e9 - Mrs. California
Episode score: 61.7
Funniest line:
Jim: Creed, I was never here, alright?
Creed: Okay, what about your friend?

#114: 

S5e28 - Company Picnic
Episode score: 61.7
Funniest line:
Rolf: You suckers are going down! They're gonna wipe their asses with your serves! Piss all over your faces!

#113: 

S6e8 - Koi Pond
Episode score: 62.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Jim is actually my friend. But... because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy. So, actually Jim is my enemy. But-

#112: 

S8e2 - The Incentive
Episode score: 62.1
Funniest line:
Andy: I’ve outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically you do your job better, you get points. So, collect 15 points and redeem them for this polar bear.
Kelly: Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It’s so gross.

#111: 

S6e17 - The Delivery: Part 1
Episode score: 62.3
Funniest line:
Erin: Number three: Eat spicy foods.
Michael: Ok, the opposite of that?
Kevin: Stick spicy food up her butt.

#110: 

S1e3 - Health Care
Episode score: 62.8
Funniest line:
Dwight: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it.

#109: 

S5e2 - Weight Loss: Part 2
Episode score: 62.9
Funniest line:
Jim: Dwight says hi.
Dwight: I do not. I do not say hi, Pam!
Jim: Now he's saying hi louder.

#108: 

S5e21 - Two Weeks
Episode score: 63.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: It's either an insense dispencer or a ceremonial sarcophagus.

#107: 

S5e20 - New Boss
Episode score: 63.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: Hey, listen my name is Michael... Scotch. And I just wanted to say that I’ve got David Wallace’s son in the trunk of my car and if he doesn't get on this phone in five second-

#106: 

S1e4 - The Alliance
Episode score: 63.0
Funniest line:
Michael: How many miles did he do last year?
Oscar: Last year, he walked 18 miles.
Michael: Son of a bitch. That is impressive.

#105: 

S6e21 - Happy Hour
Episode score: 63.3
Funniest line:
Date Mike: Hi I'm date Mike. Nice to meet me. How do you like your eggs in the morning?

#104: 

S4e3 - Launch Party
Episode score: 63.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: Did I mention the 40 reams for the battered women's shelter?
Andy: No! *Extended bear horn*

#103: 

S6e23 - Body Language
Episode score: 63.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: I bet you get pulled over by the cops a lot, just because of your race.
Kelly: Well, they say it's because of texting, but maybe you're right.

#102: 

S6e2 - The Meeting
Episode score: 63.8
Funniest line:
Pam: Yeah, I think the pregnancy really brought us together.

#101: 

S9e22 - A.A.R.M.
Episode score: 63.9
Funniest line:
Darryl: I wanted to leave quietly. It seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front while Erin pretends to hump me from behind is a more accurate tribute to my years here.

#100: 

S8e10 - Christmas Wishes
Episode score: 64.2
Funniest line:
Andy: Gam-gam's name is Ruth, Jim, you should know. I introduced you on speakerphone that time.
Jim: Yeah.
Andy: Jessica is my super serious girlfriend, who is seriously awesome and seriously sexy. Only thing that's not serious, by the way? Our repartee.
Creed: That's great. When you know you know. Hey, what's Ruth's deal, man?
Andy: Totally out of your league. So in summation, ho ho ho, please be nice to Jessica and mistletoe is not an excuse for sexual assault, and don't go near Gam-gam.

#99: 

S7e2 - Counseling
Episode score: 64.3
Funniest line:
Andy: Did you call all of my clients at the mall and cancel all my business while using the "F" word?

#98: 

S5e4 - Baby Shower
Episode score: 64.5
Funniest line:
Michael: If I'm not mistaken, we gave you your wedding shower here. We all came into this room and gave you, a golden shower. Well you know what, where's my golden shower?

#97: 

S5e5 - Crime Aid
Episode score: 64.6
Funniest line:
Michael: In my opinion, the third date is traditionally the one where You have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me, I'll know for sure.

#96: 

S5e17 - Lecture Circuit: Part 2
Episode score: 64.7
Funniest line:
Jim: I'm not writing "horse hunt." I don't even know what that means.
Dwight: It's in the name.

#95: 

S3e22 - Beach Games
Episode score: 64.7
Funniest line:
Michael: We are situated on the northeast corner of scenic Lake Scranton, America's eighth-largest indigenous body of water.

#94: 

S6e18 - The Delivery: Part 2
Episode score: 64.8
Funniest line:
Andy: Well, sorry. That's unnaceptable. I need you to send it immediately, or you're fired.
Erin: You can't talk to me like that. I didn't do anything wrong. I've been having a tough day, and--

#93: 

S4e2 - Dunder Mifflin Infinity
Episode score: 64.9
Funniest line:
Kelly: Well, I hope you're still committed, because I'm pregnant.
Kelly talking head: *Shakes head*

#92: 

S8e3 - Lotto
Episode score: 65.3
Funniest line:
Erin: You need to drop it, okay? They hate it. I like it a lot, but they hate it, so DROP IT!

#91: 

S5e8 - Business Trip
Episode score: 65.4
Funniest line:
Michael: You look, how you say, radiant tonight. And it is, how you say, a beautiful night.

#90: 

S7e16 - PDA
Episode score: 65.9
Funniest line:
Andy: We should actually probably talk about it outside or we might make Darryl mad.
Erin: Not if we're talking like this. I think it's okay. He doesn't seem to hear us.
Andy: I think he can hear us.
Erin: That makes sense, 'cause I feel like I'd be able to hear us at this level.

#89: 

S7e13 - Ultimatum
Episode score: 66.0
Funniest line:
Erin: I did it! I did a cartwheel!
Creed: F*** you! F*** you!

#88: 

S3e13 - The Return
Episode score: 66.1
Funniest line:

Dwight: How would I describe myself? Three words. Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer. Merciless, insatiable.

#87: 

S6e11 - Shareholder Meeting
Episode score: 66.5
Funniest line:

Michael: Ah, your emminance

#86: 

S7e21 - Michael's Last Dundies
Episode score: 66.6
Funniest line:

Deangelo: I want to... I want-... I feel truly blessed, to be working with all of you. You know, before this all started, uh, funny story, I was in the bathroom vomiting and vomiting.

#85: 

S7e15 - The Search
Episode score: 66.7
Funniest line:

Gabe (reading): Is that a palm tree or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it.

#84: 

S9e13 - Junior Salesman
Episode score: 66.7
Funniest line:

Dwight: When I was young, I spent several years at a private school where I was told I would be taught to harness my mutant abilities. Turned out it was a conman copying Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters from the X-Men comic books. Took me years to figure out that it was a con. Some people never figured it out.

#83: 

S7e22 - Goodbye, Michael
Episode score: 66.8
Funniest line:
Phyllis: As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it just feels good to be represented on one.

#82:

S6e3 - The Promotion
Episode score: 67.0
Funniest line:
Jim: Hey Stanley, what was the last thing Michael said before I came through the door?
Michael: Stanley, you don't need to answer that.
Jim: Stanley?
Stanley: "If you don't smell this you're fired."

#81:

S4e12 - Did I Stutter?
Episode score: 67.4
Funniest line:
Dwight: Go! Force it in as deep as you can.
Michael: *muffled* That's what she said.

#80:

S8e5 - Spooked
Episode score: 67.4
Funniest line:
Erin: This game is called pecker poker. It's the game of cards that gets you haaar....

#79:

S6e16 - Manager and Salesman
Episode score: 67.5
Funniest line:
Andy: Whoa, traffic jam!
Erin: Uh-oh, traffic jam on Route 3.
Andy: Beep beep!
Erin: Beep! Twenty people dead in a pileup!

#78:

S6e26 - Whistleblower
Episode score: 67.5
Funniest line:
Michael: Did you tell anyone outside of this office That the printers were catching on fire? Darryl: Yeah, I did. I was talking to this girl at a bar. I think she could sense my sadness. I didn't find out till later she was a copy editor at the trib. Michael: Was she cute? Darryl: No.

#77:

S9e14 - Vandalism
Episode score: 67.7
Funniest line:
Pam: I have terrible news. Someone defaced my mural. They painted all over it.
Erin: I thought that's what you were doing.
Pam: Yeah, but this is different.
Erin: Oh. They used worse paint than your paint?
Pam: I don't think so, but they put paint where I didn't want paint. So...
Erin: I thought you wanted paint on the whole thing.
Pam: Different-colored paint. I wanted different-colored paint in the spots where they put their paint. So, it just is... okay, the point is, these warehouse guys are vandals. And, they need to be stopped.

#76:

S8e14 - Special Project
Episode score: 67.8
Funniest line:
Jim: Is that the buzzer from Taboo?
Dwight: Shut up, maggot.

#75:

S5e9 - Frame Toby
Episode score: 67.9
Funniest line:
Michael: No. No. Nooooooooooo.

#74:

S6e5 - Niagara: Part 2
Episode score: 68.1
Funniest line:
Dwight: I'm ravenous after a night of lovemaking.

#73:

S9e19 - Stairmageddon
Episode score: 68.3
Funniest line:
Dwight: What does Josh McAuliffe know about the paper business? He works for a news… thing.

#72:

S5e26 - Casual Friday
Episode score: 68.5
Funniest line:
Dwight: We'll start our own paper company: The Shrute, Bernard, Lapin-Vance... Stanley Paper Company.

#71: 

S6e15 - Sabre
Episode score: 68.7
Funniest line:
Michael: Ok everybody, listen up. I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control--
Dwight: Impulsivity and inattention to detail.

#70: 

S5e25 - Broke
Episode score: 68.8
Funniest line:
Michael: Well, well, well. How the turntables...

#69: 

S8e20 - Welcome Party
Episode score: 68.8
Funniest line:
Pam: Hey, Hank?
Hank: Yes, ma'am.
Pam: I thought I was very specific about you not letting up a magician?
Hank: Yes, ma'am. I got my eyes open.
Jim: Oh, turns out he actually made it up there.
Hank: What? That ain't right.
Pam: Yeah, he came and went.
Hank: Wait a minute! You said it was a magician, right? You don't think he could have used... it couldn't have been ma...

#68: 

S6e20 - New Leads
Episode score: 68.9
Funniest line:
Erin: Lower... lower...
Andy: Are you sure?

#67: 

S5e6 - Employee Transfer
Episode score: 69.0
Funniest line:
Michael: Are you crying?
Holly: No.
Michael: Is it allergies?
Holly: No.
Michael: Did Darryl touch you?

#66: 

S4e13 - Job Fair
Episode score: 69.3
Funniest line:
Pam: Michael, do you remember you specifically told me to only bring one sheet of paper? You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. And I said, "Are you sure, Michael?" And you said, "Pam, Pam, Pam." And then you sneezed in my tea. And then you said, "Don't worry, it's allergies." Do you remember that?

#65: 

S7e1 - Nepotism
Episode score: 69.4
Funniest line:
Kelly: I would just like to say something off of what Darryl said about the level playing field. That is actually a zoning issue.

#64: 

S5e23 - Michael Scott Paper Company
Episode score: 69.4
Funniest line:
Dwight and Andy: *playing music*
Toby: Ya have to stop.

#63: 

S7e4 - Sex Ed
Episode score: 69.6
Funniest line:
Holly: Michael, you cried at that tagline for a movie you made up.
Michael: He had no arms or legs. He couldn't see, hear or speak. This is how he led a nation.

#62: 

S3e14 - Ben Franklin
Episode score: 69.7
Funniest line:
Dwight: No tats. No, no tats, of course I want-
Jim: Stop. That's disgusting.

#61: 

S7e26 - Search Committee: Part 2
Episode score: 70.0
Funniest line:
Dwight: Wait. Wait! No. Stop! Stop. Jo. It's me. I'm Dwight.
Jim: No, No. Wait. But, I mean, you're Dwight, and then... he's...

#60: 

S9e8 - The Target
Episode score: 70.0
Funniest line:
Trevor: Is it safe to talk?
Dwight: Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move for the past 9 years, but I don't see them so I think we're good.

#59: 

S7e14 - The Seminar
Episode score: 70.1
Funniest line:
Creed: Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question. Why are you here?

#58: 

S9e23 - Finale
Episode score: 70.2
Funniest line:

Angela: D, it’s gonna be perfect. The only people that need to be there are you and me.

Dwight: Oh, and the old man to feed us the cheese that he’s been fermenting since the day of my birth. You keep forgetting about him.

Angela: I don’t…I don’t know why.

#57:

S4e11 - Night Out
Episode score: 70.3
Funniest line:
Michael: This place is like a sexy preschool.

#56:

S5e3 - Business Ethics
Episode score: 70.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: She's not a virgin, you know.

#55:

S9e5 - Here Comes Treble
Episode score: 70.6
Funniest line:
Erin: The more I here about all this a capella drama, the more I think it's kind of pathetic. But when you're with someone, you put up with the stuff that makes you lose respect for them, and that is love.

#54:

S9e17 - The Farm
Episode score: 70.9
Funniest line:
Pam: Would any of you be saying any of this if the cupcakes were from Supermart?
Angela: Do they even have a bakery anymore?
Kevin: They do - it's awful. And it's getting worse every day.

#53:

S8e19 - Get the Girl
Episode score: 70.9
Funniest line:
Robert: Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Jim: Oh god, nature, please.
Robert: When two animals are having sex, one of them is communicating a message to the other, nothing is-- this isn't very helpful. You're gonna wanna hear the sexual metaphor.

#52:

S5e27 - Cafe Disco
Episode score: 71.1
Funniest line:
Dwight: Who tipped you over, was it Phillip?

#51:

S3e12 - Traveling Salesman
Episode score: 71.4
Funniest line:
Harvey the computer: Boobs.

#50:

S5e10 - The Surplus
Episode score: 71.4
Funniest line:
Andy: I'm a little concerned about some of these directions to Schrute farms.
Dwight: Yeah, do tell.
Andy: I mean, like, "156 paces from the light red mailbox, make a left... "Walk until you hear the beehive."

#49:

S6e25 - The Chump
Episode score: 71.5
Funniest line:
Pam: I'm sorry. I was up all night with Cece. Otherwise I'd be, running this.
Erin: It's okay. You probably shouldn't keep a baby up that late, though.

#48:

S8e7 - Pam's Replacement
Episode score: 71.6
Funniest line:
Andy: There is nothing more important to me right now than this meeting.
Erin: Really? Because your mother is dead.

#47:

S7e18 - Todd Packer
Episode score: 71.6
Funniest line:
Holly: Okay, look. We can't fire someone because we don't like him.
Ryan: Right this isn't the U.S. Government.
Kelly: What are you referencing?
Ryan: ...everything.

#46:

S6e10 - Murder
Episode score: 72.1
Funniest line:
Jim: Okay, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.
Dwight: That is correct, unless there happen to be measles present.

#45:

S4e14 - Goodbye, Toby
Episode score: 72.1
Funniest line:
Michael: You cheated on me? When I specifically asked you not to?

#44:

S8e17 - Test the Store
Episode score: 72.7
Funniest line:
Andy: I have neighborhood pride. 18505!

Pam: 18505!
Darryl: Guys, guys, that's so vague. You gotta do the ZIP, plus four. 18505-7427.

#43:

S7e5 - The Sting
Episode score: 73.1
Funniest line:
Dwight: So anyway, she says that is the biggest penis I have ever seen and I said I know, that's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars!

#42:

S7e6 - Costume Contest
Episode score: 73.2
Funniest line:
Kevin: I am so sorry that I didn't tell you first.
Michael: Well, don't let it happen again.
Kevin: You think that I would let this happen again?! NO WAY, JOSE!

#41:

S8e16 - After Hours
Episode score: 73.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: After it bit you, did it run away fearful, or did it walk away smug, self-assured?
Jim: So smug. Like he thought it was funny, like this.
Dwight: That's a bedbug; everything's a joke.

#40:

S5e12 - The Duel
Episode score: 74.1
Funniest line:
Michael: Did you ever have intercourse in this office?
Oscar: Are you serious? Where? Where? Where, Dwight?
Dwight: Seems like you already know where.

#39:

S7e8 - Viewing Party
Episode score: 74.4
Funniest line:
Dwight: Of all the feelings to base a show around, Glee? Thirst - now that's a show I'd watch.

#38:

S4e10 - Chair Model
Episode score: 75.0
Funniest line:
Michael: How did she die?
Dwight: I guess you could say she died of blunt force trauma and blood loss.

#37:

S7e19 - Garage Sale
Episode score: 75.3
Funniest line:
Pam: I'm just coming out to see what you're doing and maybe stop you.

#36:

S2e13 - The Secret
Episode score: 75.6
Funniest line:
Dwight: There are several different ways to tell if a perp is lying. The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hand, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately, I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful.

#35:

S7e11 - Classy Christmas: Part 1
Episode score: 75.8
Funniest line:
Dwight: I have no feeling in my fingers or penis. But I think it was worth it.

#34:

S5e1 - Weight Loss: Part 1
Episode score: 75.8
Funniest line:
Michael: I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. I learned that she has read Lonesome Dove three times. And that her butt refuses to quit!

#33:

S3e21 - Women's Appreciation
Episode score: 75.9
Funniest line:
Michael: Incidentally, where were you during all of this? Maybe you're the flasher.
Toby: I was at a parent-teacher conference.
Michael: Prove it - let's see your penis!

#32:

S5e11 - Moroccan Christmas
Episode score: 76.3
Funniest line:
Dwight: Fa la la la la la la ka-ching.

#31:

S3e19 - Safety Training
Episode score: 76.6
Funniest line:
Michael: Dwight, you ignorant slut.

#30:

S7e23 - The Inner Circle
Episode score: 76.7
Funniest line:
Dwight: What's the argument here? NBA/WNBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.

#29:

S7e17 - Threat Level Midnight
Episode score: 77.3

Funniest line:
Karen: Ever banged an entire bachelorette party, baby?
Karen: Why are you singling my line out, like a million years later?

#28:

S7e9 - WUPHF.com
Episode score: 77.4
Funniest line:
Dwight: Uh-Oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen Up, listen up. Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.

#27:

S5e16 - Lecture Circuit: Part 1
Episode score: 77.6
Funniest line:
Andy: Brought you guys some coffees. Stanley, I know you have adult onset diabetes, so I put Splenda in yours.

#26:

S6e24 - The Cover-Up
Episode score: 77.7
Funniest line:
Dwight: Okay everybody, let's take this next hill!
Instructor: Excuse me, I'd appreciate it if you just let me run this.
Dwight: You know what, you had your chance, you're no leader. Up out of your seat, let's blast!
Instructor: Don't listen to him we're approaching a cool down, down a gentle hill.
Dwight: No! The hill's a trap! Let's take the dirt road off to the side.
Instructor: No, guys, we're just cooling down--
Dwight: If they catch us, they will rape us. Go for the cliff. Now 3-2-1, jump! No! You're dead, you're dead, you're dead. Good jump! You're barely alive. OK, now, nice cool down, check your pulse rate.

#25:

S8e1 - The List
Episode score: 77.7
Funniest line:
Robert: Describe your day so far.
Erin: Well, I woke up, and--
Robert: Erin, when you recount your day, never say you woke up. That's a waste of your time. That's how every day has begun for everyone since the dawn of man.
Erin: Very smart. Very smart. ...Suddenly, I was awake.

#24:

S8e18 - Last Day in Florida
Episode score: 77.8
Funniest line:
Dwight: Robert! I'm gonna win, haha! I'm the gentleman! Suck it!

#23:

S6e22 - Secretary's Day
Episode score: 78.7
Funniest line:
Erin: My last job was at a Taco Bell Express. But then it became a full-time Taco Bell and... I don't know; I couldn't keep up.

#22:

S6e9 - Double Date
Episode score: 79.9
Funniest line:
Pam: Are you ok?
Michael: No!

#21:

S6e1 - Gossip
Episode score: 80.1
Funniest line:
Michael: How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?

#20:

S6e12 - Scott's Tots
Episode score: 80.5

Funniest line:

Pam: Wait, come on. I didn't miss a day, I came in early, I stayed late, and I doubled my sales last month.
Andy: Oh, really, from what? Two to four?
Pam: Yup.

My take:
I know it’s trendy to say that you skip this episode when going through the series, and I get why. But if you actually do that, you’re missing out on some great laughs. Erin awkwardly shines for one of the first times. Michael’s man-of-the-hour speech is cringe-inducing, yes, but it’s also full of great punchlines (they’re lithium!). The employee of the month storyline is equally funny and rounds out the episode beautifully. But the best part is Pam’s perfectly delivered line about doubling her sales.

#19:

S5e7 - Customer Survey
Episode score: 81.2

Funniest line:
Dwight: BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!

My take:

Not only does the best scene in “Customer Survey” also top my list of the funniest moments of the whole series, but we get to see what might be Pam’s funniest line as well. Her bluetooth commentary on Jim’s day is absolutely inspired, and Dwight’s exasperated responses to Jim “mumbling to himself” are good for multiple laughs throughout the episode. The A-story wraps up on the high note of Kelly’s fake crying with spurts of laughter.

#18:

S9e9 - Dwight Christmas
Episode score: 81.2

Funniest line:
Dwight: Oh, judgment is nigh, for the Belsnickel ist I!
Jim: Yes, he is finally nigh.
Dwight: I am nigh!

My take:

“Dwight Christmas”... cheer or fear? Belsnickel is here. I judge this episode as… hilarious! Whether you’re a fan of Tropical Christmas, Topless Christmas, or Tapas Swiss Miss, you’ll love this episode. Every detail of Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas and Dwight’s traditions are golden nuggets of laughter. We’re kindly gifted them as they’re sprinkled throughout this packed 22-minute masterpiece. The first half of “Dwight Christmas” is good, but things really step up once Belsnickel is nigh! Dwight turns in one of the all-time funniest efforts in Office history, overcoming the Erin-Pete story that’s more about relationship development. Finally, even with as good as the whole of this episode is, every bit of it is just a lead up to Darryl drunkenly confronting Jim and taking a swim in the eggnog bowl.

#17:

S8e4 - Garden Party
Episode score: 81.8

Funniest line:
Ryan: I'd like to make a toast. To the troops... all the troops... both sides.

My take:

Is it possible to find 17 episodes of The Office that are funnier than this one? I’ll let Dwight answer that. While the overarching story of the Garden Party itself is the main focus of this episode (obviously), there are just so many minor plots and quick-hit jokes that really land. Even better, just about everyone on the cast contributes some top-notch amusement. In the entire series, I’m not sure there’s a better comical ensemble effort and it’s beautiful to see. It also never hurts to add a dash of Mose to an episode.

#16:

S3e1 - Gay Witch Hunt
Episode score: 82.0

Funniest line:
Dwight: Jim is gone. He's gone. I miss him so much. I cry myself to sleep. Jim. False. I do not miss him.

My take:

Jim. Is. In. Stamford. The series isn’t funny anymore. I cry myself to sleep! False. This episode is hilarious. This is perhaps the show’s least politically correct episode (really saying something, but also debatable). Despite the off-color humor, we’re still treated to an array of memorable punch lines. Plus, we’re introduced to Karen and Andy for the first time, who both start off with a bang in the humor department. Andy’s first of eight angry outbursts during the series leads to potentially the best Jim face of all time. And let’s not forget the face we get to see on Dwight to end the episode. “Gay Witch Hunt” shines especially bright because there are such strong, humorously lead-worthy characters on both sides of the plot, making for what feels like two A-storylines instead of an A and a B.

#15:

S8e15 - Tallahassee
Episode score: 82.0

Funniest line:
Dwight: Anderson's Three Pillars of Retail. Crucial; so important. Next... Are there any questions?
Nellie: What are the three pillars of retail?
Erin: Convenience.
Dwight: Ingredients.
Erin: Service.
Dwight: Burgers.
Erin: Building loyalty.
Dwight: Killing royalty... truth be told, we should really disregard Anderson's three pillars. He was later diagnosed with dementia.

My take:

Get the idea that the later episodes aren’t as funny out of your head, because “Tallahassee” is where it’s at. This episode starts with what might be Jim’s best prank of all time (which never fails to make me laugh out loud), and ends with Erin’s hilariously cut-off pitch to Famous. In between, I chose Dwight’s commentary on Anderson’s three pillars of retail as the funniest line of the episode, but honestly Erin has a couple great lines that could have easily taken this top spot. Full disclosure: I’m also a fan of the character Erin. Her “Who says none of us are diarrheal?” line is one of her best in the entire series, and her 100 defiant jumping jacks help push this episode to deserving a top-15 spot. The Jim-poisoned-Dwight runner offers multiple tent poles of humor, leading up to a back two-thirds of the episode that’s dominated by a sensationally funny Dwight-has-appendicitis storyline. Nearly everything sweaty, on-the-brink-of-death Dwight does is hilarious, which honestly makes up for a less-than-perfect B-story of Andy at reception. “Tallahassee” also might be Nellie’s best-ever performance.

#14:

S6e4 - Niagara: Part 1
Episode score: 83.7

Funniest line:
Dwight: Hello, my name is Dwight Schrute. If you are listening to this, you are a lucky woman Michael has seduced. Ah, to be in your shoes. What's next? You're probably wondering. Don't be scared of your night in heaven...

My take:

Hello. My name is Jeremy Sharp. If you are reading this, you’re a lucky Office fan Michael has seduced. Ah, to be in your shoes. “What’s next?” you’re probably wondering… don’t be scared of your night watching this heavenly episode! “Niagara: Part 2” is great for sentimental reasons, but “Niagara: Part 1” takes the wedding cake in the humor department. This is also one of Pam’s best episodes. Lesson learned: When Jenna Fischer shines, good things happen. Bad (but hilarious) things happen when Michael takes the mic at the rehearsal dinner. Throw in the classic Dwight moment of him at the kids’ table and we have a winner. And before you yell “what else you got?” like Erin at the dance battle, don’t forget the cold open. Three words: Chain reaction vomit. Three more words: Creed eating noodles.

#13:

S8e6 - Doomsday

Episode score: 83.9

Funniest line:
Toby: Do you know her last name yet?
Gabe: Toby, I'm gonna tell you her last name tomorrow, because she's gonna be screaming it tonight.
Toby: She's gonna be screaming her own last name?

My take:

Let’s see. I’ve watched this episode 105 times. Which means I’ve seen the “Closing Time” cold open 105 times. Still don’t know how anyone could think this episode isn’t one of the series’ funniest. The exchange between Robert, Andy, and Dwight is a great start that explores character interactions that deliver great humor every time we see them together. The scene begins with Andy’s hilarious favorite Iron Chef question while Robert wants to talk business, which beautifully pays off two full minutes later, with this project’s co-conspirator’s all-time favorite line. The laughs don’t stop there, as once again, Gabe delivers his awkwardness perfectly while he tries to pursue Val, which provides one of my most-loved scenes/lines. And that’s just the first seven minutes.

#12:

S6e13 - Secret Santa
Episode score: 85.5

Funniest line:
Jim: You can't yell "I need this; I need this" as you pin down an employee on your lap.

My take:

The cold open of this episode is sneaky good. From Dwight counting down from 30 to “this was a successful unveiling”, I laugh out loud every time. And then viewers are presented with the greatest gift of all: hurt, petulant Jesus. Michael’s heckle session is a non-stop laugh-fest, culminating in an incredible Michael-David phone call with multiple knee-slapping punch lines. Throw in the Kevin-on-Santa’s-lap scene and it’s easy to see how Secret Santa uslurped a top spot from many other worthy contenders.

#11:

S7e24 - Dwight K. Schrute (Acting) Manager
Episode score: 86.1

Funniest line:
Dwight: You stop me when I get to the diseased area. *points*

My take:

This is one of the funniest episodes of the whole series, and I won’t allow anyone to foment insurrection on that. Some setups simply allow for extra humor. In this case, Dwight’s many outrageous policies make for a dozen or more fast jokes that really pad out this episode. The Erin-Gabe-Andy storyline is equally as funny, with numerous awkwardly flailing attempts by Gabe to win back his former lover. To top it all off, this episode has one of the best moments in the whole series. Don’t agree? Watch it again and let me know. That is, if you still disagree with me. And if you haven’t fallen in love with me by then.

#10:

S7e10 - China
Episode score: 86.8

Funniest line:
Erin: What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him, but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?
Erin: I think that's what they're doing to me. I can't prove it, but I wanted to see their faces when I said it. I learned nothing.
Michael: I don't know what the f*** that was.

My take:

I know what you’re thinking: “China” should be like 8. Actually, you’re probably thinking it shouldn’t even be in the top 10, but run the tape back and you’ll see this episode has several of the series’ most forgotten hilarious moments. Think back on Nate re-plying the toilet paper, Dwight scolding not-Pam, and Erin’s incredibly delivered monologue about her co-workers conspiring to kill her. Side note: Nate is one of the funniest supporting characters and this might be his best episode. Throw in another funny-but-forgotten cold open and we have one of the funniest Office episodes that no one talks about.

#9:

S6e7 - The Lover
Episode score: 86.9

Funniest line:
Jim: What kind of car does she drive?
Michael: A green Camry.
Jim: $#!&

My take:

“Who is it, Michael?”  

We never get to see angry Pam. And it is a treat. Pam pulls off some immaculate humor and it’s a joy to watch her excellent acting and comedic timing throughout. Her conversation with Oscar is a laugh out loud-worthy moment if ever there was one. The green Camry line is also a classic. Plus, we get to see Jim flustered and take it out on Toby, which caps off a scene that’s absolutely flawless. The B-story of the duck (oops, mallard) is just as funny and shows off silly Dwight more so than in most episodes. This episode is just littered with humor and has no dull moments.

#8:

S7e7 - Christening
Episode score: 87.1

Funniest line:
Kevin: Look at these scones, Jim! Thousands of them!

My take:
This episode is uniquely funny in part because it’s one of the few times that we get to see the whole cast outside the office for most of the episode. The way that Michael, Dwight, and Toby all react to being in/near a church provides three fantastic takes on funny concepts. The intimate reception for the Halbert’s invited guests is the humorous highlight of “Christening”, with plenty of moments that scored highly on the laugh scale. It’s also fitting that one of the best episodes features one of the worst characters (Sconesy McCider). Start it all off with Dwight’s starring role in the spreading germs cold open and we have a certifiable top-10 episode.

#7:

S3e20 - Product Recall
Episode score: 88.1

Funniest line:

Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions of families suffer every year.
Jim: Michael!
Dwight: Oh, that's funny. Michael!

My take:

Call in the CRI-MAN-SQUA, because this episode is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. The most well-known cold open in series history kicks off a wild ride that’s one of the wackier Office episodes. All three storylines are incredibly funny, with Jim and Andy’s misadventures at the high school serving as one of the most criminally underrated plot points ever. You never go more than a few seconds without a big laugh. A few highlights: Michael’s headline writing. Andy singing in the car. “That’s not gonna hold up in court.” "Full page. Two words. Good luck." Dwight’s thoughts on animal relations. The ungrateful bee-yotch hotline. Dwight’s spraying of hairspray. Michael’s ultimatum in his apology video. Dwight’s impersonation of Jim.

#6:

S2e12 - The Injury
Episode score: 88.4

Funniest line:

Michael: I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall, and now my elbow has a protruberance.

My take:

One of the first absolutely classic episodes. It’s undoubtedly a top-10 all timer. “The Injury” starts with a dizzyingly hilarious cold open scene that perfectly sets the tone for one of my personal favorite episodes. Michael is at his best and fussiest while basically everything concussed Dwight does is comedic gold. Throughout the series, The Office didn’t present a ton of opportunities for physical humor (understandably so). This episode gave the cast that opportunity and they delivered wonderfully, which is one of the reasons why this episode stands out. Also, even though “The Injury” clocks in at the normal 21-minute runtime, it somehow seems longer than most, and not in a bad way, just because they cram so much humor into one episode. Lastly, major props must be given to Jim, Michael, and Dwight for perfect execution of the memorably funny car scene.

#5:

S6e6 - Mafia
Episode score: 88.6

Funniest line:

Dwight: "R" is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not "mukduk."

My take:
Jim and Pam are great, but this episode also gives the opportunity for others to shine since they’re out on their honeymoon (but that doesn’t stop Jim and Pam from still delivering in a BIG WAY). Dwight and Andy make amazing sidekicks that complement each other perfectly. This episode dives into one of the more ridiculous plots of the entire series and I am HERE. FOR. IT. Andy as the mechanic is one of the best things to happen. Jim’s breaking up on the phone is a gem. Just really solid, consistent humor throughout.

#4:

S4e9 - Dinner Party
Episode score: 89.2

Funniest line:

Michael: That's sort of an oaky afterbirth.

My take:

This episode needs no explanation. But you’re getting one anyway because otherwise it would look weird compared to the rest of the top 20. It’s important to note that nearly all of the laughs from “Dinner Party” come from the the wine-dipped meat of the episode: The actual party. This 12-minute span from the 7-minute mark until the 19-minute mark is a constant stream of perfectly blended awkwardness and hilarity. The fact that this episode is carried to a top-10 ranking by only half the episode’s run time is a true testament to how good those scenes are. There are also some pretty great deleted scenes (don’t worry, those didn’t factor into its ranking). Also, if you haven’t read the oral history of this episode, do that right after you’re done here.

#3:

S7e25 - Search Committee: Part 1
Episode score: 89.3

Funniest line:

Gabe: Shut up about the sun! SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!

My take:
Creed shines his brightest in the cold open of this episode, which makes it one best starts of the whole series. That sets the stage for a 22-minute and 53-second masterpiece that takes full advantage of its setup. The layout of the episode with its many interviews allowed for a lot of quick-hit jokes and the guest stars did not disappoint. There’s a lot going on and multiple storylines that keep the laughs coming constantly. Plus, “Search Committee: Part 1” has the second-funniest line of the entire series.

#2:

S5e24 - Heavy Competition
Episode score: 90.0

Funniest line:

Michael: I am going to steal all of your clients and then I am going to kill them in front of you.

My take:
This episode might be one of the more surprising to earn a top spot, but the A-story of Michael vs. Dwight really carries “Heavy Competition” to deserving this recognition. The Michael Scott Paper Company saga was a treasure trove for laughs, with this episode serving as the peak of its hilarity. It also might have been one of the better opportunities for Michael and Dwight to play off each other, and they delivered beautifully. In a span of just a few minutes, we’re treated to Dwight’s perfectly executed flash and several amazing lines like:
-“Their meatball parm is their worst sandwich.”
-“Are you saying you invented paper???”
-“Paper is the manure! On-time delivery is the soil!”
-“Spin move!”
-“And you have bad skin. Oh, look everyone, we’re all making observations!”

#1:

S5e14 - Stress Relief: Part 1
Episode score: 97.7

Funniest line:

Andy: The fire's shooting at us!

My take:

This should surprise no one.

It takes until the 35-second mark for the first punchline of the episode, which is Dwight lamenting that he used PowerPoint for his safety presentation. And that is the longest "Stress Relief: Part 1" goes without a solid laugh for the rest of the episode. Obviously the fire and CPR segments are two of the most iconic scenes in Office history. Both are in the first 10 minutes and deserve all the credit in the world for being among the funniest scenes in TV history. The fact that both happen in the same episode cement "Stress Relief: Part 1" as the funniest episode of the entire series. But they're not the only hilarious parts of the show's pinnacle. The two scenes at Dunder Mifflin's corporate office round out what is definitively the funniest episode of this beloved show.

To yell at me for ranking your favorite episode too low, making a typo, or to suggest some new hobbies, hit me up here: theofficeranked@gmail.com.